Hey Sunshine.
I’m a mom, wife and lover of life. I reside in Pennsylvania with my husband and three children. After watching my father battle Lewy Body Dementia, I was determined to raise awareness and provide a resource that her family never had. Grandpa & Lewy is her first children’s book. In the process of writing the book I realized the importance of connection and the effect it has on all of us. Connection helps us feel heard and understood and valued. Connection to self, connection to our world, to friends, families and to faith are all so important. The connection that really hit home was when I realized the impact of intergenerational boding and how it had affected me. Intergenerational relationships play an important role in the life of society.
It really does take a village. Through my writing, I hope to encourage children to build authentic connections that will help them face adversity with patience, compassion and positivity.
My Story :
Do you have a memory frozen in time - a specific moment in time that totally shaped who you were? That moment would be the catalyst for your how and why? It might be a good experience or it might be a challenge, but if you are like me it stuck with you through all of the highs and lows that would follow. My experience was a 10th grade English paper written in 1987 that ignited my love for writing, introduced me to my real life hero and made me appreciate the importance of intergenerational connection. technology when I had to rescue that paper off of a floppy disc 10 years later. The assignment was to interview and write about someone who had influenced me. My grandfather seemed like a great candidate. He was patient and loving. Although he was stoic, I knew he had lived through some stuff in his 80 years. That interview was the beginning of a bond stronger than I had ever experienced with another person and one that made me who I am today. I would refer to that paper again in 1997 to fulfill a college requirement in which I concluded that I would take the love that my Grandfather has given to me and spread it to others. That connection with my grandfather 35 years ago inspired the work that I do today. The words my Grandfather spoke about World War II still ring true, “If a country is not worth fighting for, it’s not worth living in” This is a country worth fighting for, but if there is no connection to our past there is no compass for the future.
The importance of intergenerational connection became painfully apparent when my father was diagnosed with Lewy Body Dementia and I saw the effect it had on my children. My father was 51 years old when he was diagnosed and my children were very young. They were watching the physical and mental decline It was difficult to watch my fathers decline, It was heartbreaking to watch my kid try to process what was happening. As a member of the “sandwich generation” I watched my mother care for her aging parents. Years later I became the caregiver and my kids watched me care for their grandparents. My kids developed empathy and compassion from the relationship they had with their grandparents just as I did from my relationship with my grandparents. It is a cycle - one that needs to be promoted and nurtured. Our connection is our strength. It is the strength that we need to truly bring about social change by inspiring connection, conversation, compassion.
MY MISSION
There is a quote by Vincent Van Gogh that says “I feel that there is nothing more truly artistic than to love people”. My grandparents built a foundation of love for my parents, my parents instilled it in me and I have worked hard to instill it in my own children. Loving people is not only an art, it is a practice. Is love enough to ignite social change? I’d like to think so, but the reality is that it has to be love in action. It is not enough to say that by loving our kids we can create a more just world, but by getting people to act from a place of love we can build a foundation for change. We are in a loneliness epidemic and our world is more divided than ever. We need connection to bring us back together. We owe it to our kids to calm the overwhelm and help them feel empowered.
My mission is to listen to children who need to be heard, speak love into children that feel unlovable and connect with kids who think that an adult could never understand. We need to connect with them on a deeper level so that they know they are not in this alone.
CONNECTION
The Sandwich Generation
Connection is a basic human need. Yet, at a time where we have instant connection to the world at our fingertips we are more disconnected than ever. Building authentic connections can improve overall mental health. This is so important for elderly and very important for a child’s development. Yet in a society where family demands are higher than ever not only are these populations struggling, but also those caring for them. We are the sandwich generation - stuck between caring for elderly parents and young children. We are burning the candle at both ends. Trying to balance all of this with the everyday stresses of life will leaves us feeling burnt out and exhausted. We can strengthen the family unit through intergenerational connection. It really does take a village.
Our Connection is our Strength
Individually we can make an impact, but together we have the ability to change the world. Connection is the vital link between where we’ve been and where we are going. If there is no connection to the past there is no compass for future generations. Our future as a society might just rest on the connection between the young and the old. The children of today are the future of tomorrow. Who better to teach them than the role models of yesterday?
Kids
We ALL have superpowers and the ability to make a positive impact on this world. Kids are no exception. We need to find opportunities to work with children to shift attitudes and social "norms", promote a growth mindset, encourage leadership and help kids understand the importance of connection. Imagine influencing small minds today so that our world is kinder, more tolerant and stronger when they are the big thinkers of tomorrow. We learn so much from history. If we can spark compassion and understanding in future scientists, doctors, politicians or humanitarians it could make a huge impact on our world. It is possible. Connection is said to be an exchange of energy. Who has more energy to give than kids? Let’s empower and educate children to act with kindness and compassion to strengthen the connection they have with the elderly. It’s time to talk to kids about what dementia is, the importance of connection and how they have the power to help.
Elderly
It is time to help families connect, communicate and improve intergenerational bonds. Connection is basic human need and very important for elderly. There are so many statistics regarding the effect that social isolation has been found to increase the risk of developing dementia by as much as 20%. Older adults who feel more satisfied in their relationships are reported to have a 23% lower risk of dementia. These numbers speak volumes to the importance of connection. Intergenerational connections are vital to the foundation of a family. There are may important roles that grandparents fill: living ancestor, family historian, role model, teacher, friend, and hero. Memories, tales of times past and a seasoned view of the world are all essential to the well-being of future generations. Who better to help us know our past than those who’ve come before us?
Parents
Parents must serve as a bridge between the young and old generations. Teaching and modeling for kids how important the grandparent is while encouraging the child to help improve the life of the senior. Bridging the generational gap will benefit the entire family.
Empowering a child to help take an active role in the care the grandparent or elderly family member a parent:
- can relieve some of the burden and stress they are feeling
- improve the overall well being and of the senior and child
- give senior purpose by letting them be involved in the child’s development
- empower a child to act in a situation in which they feel helpless
- inspire empathy, compassion and connection
- give the younger and older a sense of connection that is mutually beneficial
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Tips to build authentic connections
10 tips to help you build authentic connections
1. Be your true self. Authentic connections requires you be your authentic self. Putting on a front will only get you a superficial relationship. Finding someone who accepts the true you is so much
2. Communicate with intention
3. Hold Space - Be open and listen without motive
4. Show interest in them
5. Be empathetic
6. Really hear them - focus on what is being said.
7. Mirror the behavior you hope to get. You get what you give
8. Invest time in the relationship. A own way street leads to dead ends
9. Find commonalities. Shared experiences and interest will keep the connection
10. Give it time. True connection needs to be nurtured.
LEWY BODY DEMENTIA
When my dad was diagnosed with Lewy Body Dementia 18 years ago, we were told he had two terrible diseases - Parkinson's and Alzheimers. He began to display cognitive, sleep and behavioral symptoms that eventually led to a diagnosis of Lewy Body Dementia (LBD). In 2003 little was known about LBD and few people had ever heard of It. For my dad it was being stuck between realities - one where the mind is lucid, but the body is failing; and the other where the body is strong, but the mind fails. The mind and body could no longer exist as a cohesive unit. For me, it was a long, painful goodbye - losing a piece of him every day for years. My once intelligent, kind dad was struggling to understand basic concepts and showing behavior changes that can only be imaginable by someone who has experienced that decline first hand. For my kids, it was watching Grandpa change physically & mentally. The special bond they shared was challenged as my children became unsure of one of the people who loved them most. There were no resources available. We felt lost trying to navigate it alone. Led me to Inspiring intergenertional connection to educate, empower and end the stigma of dementia.
ABOUT THE BOOK
Grandpa & Lewy
Grandpa and Lewy is a story of hope and empowerment that addresses the physical and mental changes caused by Lewy Body Dementia. This beautifully illustrated book leads children through the journey of caring for someone with dementia in a non-frightening way while offering encouragement and guidance. The boy in the story always finds ways to love his Grandpa through all of the changes that Lewy brings, The boy misses the special things that he used to do with his grandfather, but realizes the love they share is so special that nothing can ever change it. This story is intended for children of all ages and dedicated to anyone who is faced with loving through Lewy.